The Poor Paul’s C.O.W. this week is Wendy. It’s here in this little biography that we try to introduce our C.O.W. to the bar. But no one seems to know anything about Wendy. Not even her parents. They say they vaguely remember her. She was such a secretive child that they don’t even know when she left home. (They said to say “hi!”)
Oh, there’s lots of stories but it’s hard to separate fact from fiction, and I will only report what I know to be the truth. She does have a police record but even the FBI doesn’t remember what she did. They did say that if she was a serial killer, it would probably be in her record. She is on the Humane Society’s sex offender list??? Her school records show that she graduated from the 8th Grade, but the trail ends there.
About the only thing that seems certain is that “she” hasn’t always been a “SHE.” In fact her mug shots all show her with a full beard and a mullet! Let’s just say that when Wendy got her boob job she had something to trade in.
We do know she is 31 years old and, according to our security camera records, she has missed coming to Poor Paul’s only 4 days in the last 10 years. I think it’s about time Poor Paul buys her some free drinks. Congratulations Wendy (or Bill, or Bob, or…..)